The Christmas countdown has begun. I know…I know…thank you captain obvious. To be honest, Christmas has snuck up on me faster than I would like to admit but thanks to online shopping with free two day shipping, my family is getting “real” gifts this year. I’ll leave the “real” gift discussion for another time and focus on the “best” gifts. You know them. They are ones that make you laugh. The ones you never expected. The ones you did expect because you get them every year and, more than likely, they came out of a stocking.

When I was a kid, my Christmas stocking always contained fruit like an orange, nuts you had to use a nutcracker to open, and something I never expected, like lick and stick tattoos. Times have changed (insert captain obvious sarcasm here) and so has Christmas stocking stuffers. Especially where a geeky girl kind of person is concerned. No fear, I’m here to help. Think of me as your little geeky girl personal shopper elf and enjoy my top stocking stuffer picks this year:

Mini static spray – What you say? They make static spray in discreet little travel sizes? Here is one of those perfect unexpected gifts. The gift of “holy cow, I no longer will be ridiculed in an airport when my skirt hem wants to hang out with the waistband of my tights” kind of unexpected gift.

Braza Wipe Out Sponges – Move over Tide stick. Find a new alley Shout wipes. These little sponges are advertised to remove deodorant stains (check), pet hair (check), lint (check), dandruff (maybe), and stubborn food particles (check, check). Oh, and they are cute which could make witnesses think you are cute instead of a train wreck.

Speaking of deodorant…how about deodorant wipes? I’ve tried these and love them. This geeky girl is famous for working up a sweat on any given day so these guys have saved me from carrying around a full size deodorant and/or stinking up the place.

Lip balm – You groaned because this has been in everyone’s stocking at some time but did you know that these little gems can double as a hand lotion stick? That’s right, rub a little on your bloody knuckles and whala, less bloody knuckles. You could buy two and cover one with a little duct tape (another great, geeky stocking stuffer) and use a Sharpie marker to repackage it as a lotion stick. Trust me, no one will expect this and everyone will be amazed at how crafty you’ve been, and well, real little lotions are just too hard for a geeky girl.

I must have dreamt this idea about gloves. Not just any gloves but three gloves that can be worn on either hand. One that says Left, one that says Right and the other says Extra. Genius.

Clever flair buttons. Not shirt buttons but buttons like Vote for Jim buttons. Me and my daughter nearly got thrown out of a little boutique once that had some pretty naughty flair buttons. F**k Sweatpants was our favorite. First of all, why cuss and say sweatpants on the same space? I’m pretty sure this was designed by a brilliant geeky girl who can tell an amazing story that starts out with “one time when I was wearing my blue sweatpants…and ends with “all I have to say about this is F**k Sweatpants”. See what a great gift this is. It will make us laugh and continue to amuse us geeky girls for hours. My personal favorite flair button I’ve received says “I Read Banned Books”. I wore it proudly. It felt so dangerous.  Thank goodness no one ever struck up a conversation with me because of it. Since I am no good at talking to strangers, I would have stuttered through the merits of Harper Lee’s To Kill A Mockingbird and they would have thought I was probably the reason the book was banned in the first place.

Sample sized shower gel or soap – It would be perfectly o.k. to swipe these from a hotel and gift it to your geeky girl. It is only in the privacy of her own bathroom that she can be brave enough to try something all the cool, staying at hotel girls use with ease. What makes these so unintimidating is that they are small enough not to have to commit to trying to be a cool girl more than once. An overwhelming full sized bottle or soap will be regifted or collect dust because they’re overwhelming.

A never seen before photo – I can’t even begin to tell you how much finding one of these in my stocking meant to me. It was a photo of my brother holding my baby daughter in my kitchen on Christmas day. My mom took it and never shared it with me…that is until 20 years later via my Christmas stocking. Totally unexpected, totally made me laugh (what was I thinking when I put up that kitchen wallpaper) and totally made my Christmas and the month following as I looked at that photo over and over again.

And finally, a healthy snack – Geeky girls live on large amounts of coffee, wine and in my case, Cheese-its. We always appreciate an opportunity to eat something good for us as it makes us feel like for one minute we could commit to eating good for us all the time. Keep in mind that if you Google the merits of chocolate, its considered healthy most of the time. All geeky girls trust Google.

I hope you found this post helpful. Just remember, something to make them laugh, something they won’t expect, or something they will expect because they get one every year. Here’s wishing we all find one of these in our stockings and five minutes of peace in these final days of holiday chaos.

Love, Really Geeky Girl

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